05 August 2008

Crazy Math

For some odd reason I have been thinking about a conversation I had with my ex-wife a year or so ago. The entire conversation was centered around recalculating child support due to her getting health insurance.

This is the procedure: I calculate what it costs me monthly to insure each of my children and then subract half of that amount (because she is responsible to pay for half of all health coverage for the children) from what I pay her in monthly child support. This is quite easy for me to figure out since I only get paid once a month. My ex essentially does the same thing, except that when she figures out her cost to insure the children, I add half of that amount to the child support. Sounds simple, doesn't it?

The only real difference here is that she gets paid every other week, but that really doesn't make the math that much more difficult...or does it? I tried to explain to her that since she gets paid every other week that she would do the same kind of math, but multiply that amount on each of her paychecks by 26 (half of all 52 weeks in a year) and then divide that amount by 12 (months in a year) to determine how much I need to reimburse her each month.

This is where she got lost and the arguing began. She told me that she gets paid every other week (a correct statement) and that works out to twice per month (hold on, sissy, that statement doesn't calculate). She insisted that the amount per child she pays on each paycheck would be divided in half but then multiplied by 24 because 2 paychecks per month multiplied by 12 months equals 24.

When I asked her to count her paycheck stubs and verify that she has 26 of them she told me she didn't need to because, again, getting paid every other week, or twice per month as she believes, equals 24 paychecks. She told me my math was terrible. She ended the call, but called me back the next day and stated that she asked someone at her work about all this and they confirmed that she was correct. When I questioned her further, she said she trusted that person more because she was in charge of the office's finances. Scary!

I told her that if we went with her method she would be getting less money per month from me to reimburse her insurance costs. I thought this was my chance to persuade her I was correct because I was sure that when she realized she would get more money using my "crazy math" she would concede. Oh no. She said I was up to something and trying to cheat her in some way. What!? I asked her how giving her more money was trying to cheat her and she said that I would probably take her to court in a few years and show I had overpaid and then she would be required to pay me back. Wow, she really has an active thought process!

At this point I told her I was going to give her the amount I had calculated regardless if she thought it was incorrect. She refused me. This time I asked her to write out her calculations and include a statement that she considers her amount acceptable and then sign it and give it to me. She refused to sign anything like that and once again hung up on me.

The next day she called me again to tell me she had figured out my math. She said I was still wrong but she had figured out how I came up with my number. More than curious, I asked her to explain. She told me that there were indeed 26 paychecks per year. I asked her how that was possible if, as she insisted, she only got paid twice per month. She told me there were 13 months in a year! At this point I realized there was no point in arguing any further. I figured as long as we were finally in agreement as to what the correct figures were, that was good enough for me. I am getting too old for this!