Thoughts of an Assassination

This past week I traveled to Dallas, Texas on business. I had never previously been to Dallas and really didn't know what to expect. Before leaving, I had searched various web sites looking for something interesting to do that would fit into my schedule. We (myself and six other colleagues) really only had a few hours in the afternoon of our last day in the city so our choices were somewhat limited.

Anyway, we all decided to check out Dealey Plaza. For those of you not familiar with Dallas, that is the area where President John F. Kennedy was assassinated. I found the whole experience to be much different than what I expected. Let me just quickly state that this horrible event in history happened a few years before I was born and therefore I really have no emotional attachments to the man or his family. That being said, it was a life-changing experience.

I am somewhat of a History Channel junkie and I love watching most of the programs that air on that channel. I have seen many different television programs detailing the events of the assassination with much interest. Like most of you, I remember discussing this event in every American History class I have ever taken. I can instantly recall all of the images and video ever shown relating to the incident. However, as you personally walk around the block and see the book depository and the grassy knoll, history seems to come alive. There is such a contrast between feeling reverence for what happened at that location and dodging the traffic that seems oblivious to the history that occurred there.

The structures that were on the grassy knoll when Kennedy was shot are still there and look exactly like the news films that documented the event. While I'm not sure, I would swear that some of the more mature trees are from that time period as well. The concrete roadways that go over the road where Kennedy died look like they did back then as well. If you visit the museum on the 6th floor of the book depository building, the corner window where Oswald shot from is framed off from the public with glass walls. They have re-created the area to look exactly as it did on that fateful day. You can look out adjacent windows and see the same view the assassin did. Very sobering.

Of all that I saw in Dallas that day the most thought provoking was the two large X's painted on the roadway in front of the book depository. The first "X" marked the spot where the first bullet hit the President in the back and the second "X" where he was hit in the head. Many of the people on that plaza that day were younger than me and yet all of them (including myself) went out in the street to touch that second "X" where history was made in some feeble attempt to be connected to the events of that day. I literally felt the chill of an assassination run through me.

Now I have read many things about JFK, the man. Most of it is not flattering nor socially acceptable...especially when in the context of describing the President of our country. However, after experiencing a personal look onto the stage where this man died, I gained a profound sense of appreciation for the man and really felt sorry for his wife and children. It really made me want to go home and hug my family. This being an election year, I find myself ever grateful for the freedom to choose our leaders. Regardless of your political affiliation, please vote. When you are done, go home and tell your family you love them.

It's Never Too Late For A Happily Ever After

Some time ago, my fiance (now wife) and I were walking through a craft store (gasp!) and we came across the phrase used to title this blog: "It's Never Too Late for a Happily Ever After". I've often seen these cute little one-liners that people like to stencil on their walls, but this particular one really seemed to hit an emotional chord with me.

Over seven years ago I found myself newly divorced from 12 years of marriage. I was feeling incredibly guilty over what had happened and felt like life's happiness had indeed passed me by. I was stressed beyond belief over issues with my children's well-being as well as my employment. I was such a wreck I could scarcely function. In less than 2 months time I had lost over 40lbs. On a daily and sometimes hourly basis I was trying to endure emotional and verbal abuse from my ex-wife, her family members, and even some former friends. I was quickly reaching the point where I didn't even want to exist anymore. I was beginning to lay piles of guilt on myself in order to justify my own miserable existence. I was truly lost.

Somehow I managed to endure this misery for a year or so whereupon I met someone who showed me there was life after divorce. I dated this person for nearly 6 years before I had the courage to try marriage again. Even though the abuse from my ex-wife continued for several years beyond my divorce, this woman stood by my side. She never judged me and she was always quick to encourage me. She was and is always there for me - always! She has accepted me for what and who I am without condition. I don't think she will ever fully understand the profound influence she has had upon my life. It is because of her that I continually strive to become a better person.

Now the reason for this blog: My wife has given me insight to some rather strange things - strange to me, at least. Every time I start to make dinner, she comes in and helps me. Whenever I go outside to do yard work, she comes out and helps me. Whenever I am folding laundry, she helps me. Whenever I am making the bed in the morning, she helps me. Whenever I am making home repairs, she not only offers her help, but insists I teach her how to do the job at hand as well. Never before have I been in such a loving and helpful relationship. She does all these things for me without me so much as even hinting for her help. Now I don't want anyone to think I do all these things all of the time. She does these things (and more) too and I love helping her as well. She is the sole reason that I feel that God must love me to have sent such a wonderful human being into my life despite all my shortcomings. I honestly don't deserve her!

Not only did she come along at just the right time and save me from myself, but she really is my happily ever after! I'm grateful it wasn't too late. I love you, L!

Crazy Math

For some odd reason I have been thinking about a conversation I had with my ex-wife a year or so ago. The entire conversation was centered around recalculating child support due to her getting health insurance.

This is the procedure: I calculate what it costs me monthly to insure each of my children and then subract half of that amount (because she is responsible to pay for half of all health coverage for the children) from what I pay her in monthly child support. This is quite easy for me to figure out since I only get paid once a month. My ex essentially does the same thing, except that when she figures out her cost to insure the children, I add half of that amount to the child support. Sounds simple, doesn't it?

The only real difference here is that she gets paid every other week, but that really doesn't make the math that much more difficult...or does it? I tried to explain to her that since she gets paid every other week that she would do the same kind of math, but multiply that amount on each of her paychecks by 26 (half of all 52 weeks in a year) and then divide that amount by 12 (months in a year) to determine how much I need to reimburse her each month.

This is where she got lost and the arguing began. She told me that she gets paid every other week (a correct statement) and that works out to twice per month (hold on, sissy, that statement doesn't calculate). She insisted that the amount per child she pays on each paycheck would be divided in half but then multiplied by 24 because 2 paychecks per month multiplied by 12 months equals 24.

When I asked her to count her paycheck stubs and verify that she has 26 of them she told me she didn't need to because, again, getting paid every other week, or twice per month as she believes, equals 24 paychecks. She told me my math was terrible. She ended the call, but called me back the next day and stated that she asked someone at her work about all this and they confirmed that she was correct. When I questioned her further, she said she trusted that person more because she was in charge of the office's finances. Scary!

I told her that if we went with her method she would be getting less money per month from me to reimburse her insurance costs. I thought this was my chance to persuade her I was correct because I was sure that when she realized she would get more money using my "crazy math" she would concede. Oh no. She said I was up to something and trying to cheat her in some way. What!? I asked her how giving her more money was trying to cheat her and she said that I would probably take her to court in a few years and show I had overpaid and then she would be required to pay me back. Wow, she really has an active thought process!

At this point I told her I was going to give her the amount I had calculated regardless if she thought it was incorrect. She refused me. This time I asked her to write out her calculations and include a statement that she considers her amount acceptable and then sign it and give it to me. She refused to sign anything like that and once again hung up on me.

The next day she called me again to tell me she had figured out my math. She said I was still wrong but she had figured out how I came up with my number. More than curious, I asked her to explain. She told me that there were indeed 26 paychecks per year. I asked her how that was possible if, as she insisted, she only got paid twice per month. She told me there were 13 months in a year! At this point I realized there was no point in arguing any further. I figured as long as we were finally in agreement as to what the correct figures were, that was good enough for me. I am getting too old for this!