It seems life has a way of making you smile or even laugh at yourself. Admittedly, I don't like laughing at myself because that usually means I've done something stupid and I avoid such situations like the plague. However, sometimes life happens and happens in a comical way.
I like to tease. I don't mean to be unkind when I do it, but I really like kidding around - especially with my children and step children. The other night as I was finishing my dinner, my oldest step son entered the kitchen where we keep the family computer. He told his mom he wanted to play a song he liked for her that he had stored on the computer. As he logged into the computer I couldn't resist the chance for a little teasing.
While he was searching for his song I proudly announced that I knew which song he was talking about. Looking back it is painfully obvious that I didn't really think this through that well, because I should have swallowed the string bean I was eating before beginning my made up song about pretty pink unicorns.
I had just barely made it to the end of the first line when a partially chewed bean decided it had heard enough and slipped into my airway. Needless to say I couldn't retrieve it fast enough and so I ended my chorus gagging on my own food. My wife left the room laughing so hard tears were streaming down her face. Her children asked her if she was OK...never mind me standing over the sink struggling with a blocked airway. Ok, message received loud and clear...don't mess with her children!
I seem to be the brunt of a lot of jokes from my in-laws as well and they all stem from the same incident. If any of you have been to my house, you know there is quite a bit of gravel on the ground between where the driveway ends and the street begins. And I must tell you that I have very sensitive feet. I attribute this to the fact that I always wear shoes. I was never one of those kids that spent their entire summer barefoot and ended up with feet so calloused that shoes were not necessary. My wife however, was one of those kids.
Anyway, one late night last year I realized that no one had checked the mailbox that day. My wife was downstairs doing laundry or something so I decided to slip out and check for mail. Not wanting to bother with shoes, I proceeded to the mailbox. I managed to make it about 8 feet into the gravel - only halfway to the mailbox - before I realized my delicate feet couldn't take the pain of loose gravel. No matter how hard I tried to convince myself I wasn't a wimp and that I could just walk back to the house and quietly get my shoes, my feet reminded me that I was indeed a wuss and that I wasn't to proceed.
What was I going to do? I tried crawling off the rocks, but that was even more painful. It was nearly 11:30 p.m and I was stranded in my own front yard! As I was contemplating having to yell an S.O.S. to my wife and endure the horror of attracting the attention of my neighbors, I was suddenly aware I had my cell phone. Brilliant! Without thinking, I called my wife. She answered and was somewhat surprised to receive a call from her husband, who at last recollection, was sitting in the living room watching t.v. She was puzzled and asked where I was. I told her I was stranded on the rocks in the front yard and I pitifully asked her to bring some shoes out to me. Talk about complete humiliation!
With my slippers in hand, out of the house she came. She took one look at me and then she doubled over in laughter. Somehow she managed to hand me my slippers before collapsing on the driveway - completely overcome with laughter. She shared this story with all of her family who just feed on this kind of stuff. They will never let me forget. Even my own children ask me if I need an escort to go outside in case I get stranded again. Oh well, life should include laughter and in this case, the joke's on me.
