Tears for the Sole

I'm sure most if not all of you out there are familiar with the phrase, "raise the bar". It's not a phrase that is hard to understand. Try harder. Improve yourself. Raise your standards. Most assuredly there are a plethora of other catchy phrases which share parallel meanings.

My wife and I often joke with each other that one of the reasons we get along so well is because the bar was set pretty low by our ex-spouses in each of our first marriages. In other words, it's doesn't require significant effort on each other's part to improve upon the marital experiences from our first-time nuptials. This doesn't mean, however, that we don't put forth a sincere effort to make this marriage work and help each other really be happy.

I think each of us really loves serving the other and we've learned it is the simple things that really oil this machine we call marriage. Doing the laundry when it needs to be done instead of being asked can do amazing things for my wife's psyche. And if I really want to brighten her day I just make dinner. It really is that simple. I thought she was on the verge of doing somersaults when she discovered I had secretly ironed her blouse this morning while she was in the shower. See, I raised the bar. I say this as I ceremonially pat myself on the back.

My wife does little things for me all the time too and I absolutely adore her for it. I think my favorite thing that she does for me is when she kills the spiders in the house. Not that I suffer from acute arachnophobia or anything, its just that I get seriously grossed out by all the guts when one of the said arachnids has to be put down...especially the big ones. And I must say that I love the little notes she sometimes leaves in my car. What can I say, she's a keeper!

Now having shared this, I must say that she caught me completely off-guard the other day. She needed a new pair of shoes so I offered to take her shopping and see what we could find. After trying several shoe stores, we finally found a pair she loved. They cost a bit more than she would have ever spent on herself, but she is most definately worth it. And with the purchase of one pair of shoes, you could get another pair at half price. It was a done deal and we left the shoe store with two pairs of shoes...count 'em, two!

I was feeling pretty good that I was able to do something meaningful for her, but then I looked over and she was crying. For a brief moment I panicked! What did I do? Feeling concerned, I asked her what the matter was. She said nothing was the matter. She told me how grateful she was for the shoes and for the fact that they didn't come with strings attached (no pun intended). Puzzled, I asked why she would think like that. She simply replied that in her former life, there were always strings attached with similar acts of kindness.

Every once in a while I am grateful the bar was set so low because it enables someone like me to more easily improve upon my wife's former relationship, but I also feel sad she had to experience such low standards. Hopefully with enough sincere and heartfelt effort I can raise the bar to where it should be. I must be doing something right though because my wife told me that of all her husbands I was her favorite - so far! Hopefully I'm her last one and there won't be anymore tears for the sole.